Too slow my heart has been in learning how to live.

Too slow my heart has been.

Learning how to live

            Today I have learned to model my life after the nature God created. I will strive to stand tall like the oak tree. I will gladly give shade to those who are hot and sweaty from life’s hard work. I will hold fast during the storms of life. My roots are deeply grounded in the gospel, and that is why I can stand using the Creator’s strength, not mine. 

Today I will be serene like the mountains.  I will learn from them the importance of staying still and listening to that small voice. I will not be like the busy highway below the mountains that is cluttered with trash, cans, garbage, and fast paced vehicles. Instead, I will be those Smokey Mountains in the distance speaking peace.

Today I will mimic the free spirit of the light-hearted birds that eat from my feeders. I will drop in for bits of food and fly out to discover new branches to rest upon and watch the world. I will hide in these branches from the winds of the storm, and start the morning with sweet songs of praise and glory.

Today I consider the lilies along the roadside. Their beauty and brightness softens each landscape. As I walk beside them, I learn from them not to worry of a tomorrow that might never bring some direful, long anticipated thing. Instead, I will sway in the warm breeze and feel it upon my petals. Today I rejoice for how wonderfully I am created by the Master.

Today I will extend the loved odor of the lilac bush. I will refresh those who come into my path by my love extended unconditionally. Free kindness is what the lilac spreads by its pleasant fragrance. Me too, I want to have the sweet scent of the Savior and extend free kindness to strangers, friends, and family. 

It has taken a long time for me to gather these simple lessons that my Master teaches through His magnificent creations. Ah, too slow has been my heart in learning how to live. Dear Father, please forgive.

Guiding Footsteps into 2012

copyrighted art by Sandi Baron

2012 is here!  Each year when I write the number of the year, it seems awkward. I manage to write a few checks with last year’s date. Change is difficult no matter what format, and sometimes it takes me two or three months to write the year correctly.  

Each January I am eager to see what this New Year will bring.  I anticipate a lot of blessings, a time of renewal,  and a new understanding of God’s purpose for me on this earth.  I know if I resolve to love God and keep Him first each day, He will make my service to Him successful.  

How He directs me to serve Him is the excitement.  He has led me to write my memoir of integrating schools in 1967 in New Orleans.  I am amazed how He has restored my memory, given me affirmation, helped me with contacts, and kept this project on my heart for forty-five years.  I have been slow to respond.  Writing a book can be overwhelming.  It is the biggest challenge I have ever taken.  I enjoy the process of writing a chapter, adding details and imagery, editing for accuracy and illustration, and checking my grammar.  I just hope any of my former students that read my blog know that I find all kinds of grammar errors in my copy.  Edit, edit, edit.  

Writing , painting, and living seem so closely related in my life.  In each area I must pray first.  Then, address a blank canvas, paper, or day and make the most out of it.  Just like life, some days of writing are more meaningful than others.  Some paintings shout with bright vibrant colors and others convey the mood through soft, gentle hues.  No two days of living are the same.  

As I approach this New Year, I know that I must meet many goals to complete my book. I am going to New Orleans to do some research and try to find a couple of my former students to interview. I know they can give more accuracy to my reflections.  I hope to glean sharper descriptions, clarity of dialogue, and capture the energy of New Orleans more realistically.  Then, I will attempt to put these discoveries on paper.  This is a service to God and will be directed by Him.

I will paint more of God’s beauty. Equipped  with paint and brushes, I will practice creating images with darks and lights, color and hue, and washes and strokes.  Again, it is a challenge, but so fulfilling.

On this first of January 2012, I commit to loving Jesus with all of my heart, seeking His wisdom, and following His design for my life.  Gratefully, He has put Denny in my life for forty-five years of marriage.  We are so accepting of each other.  Each day we visit,  laugh,  share what we are reading,enjoy a warm meal or two, and a few hugs and kisses.  Denny is so supportive of my writing and art. I appreciate his encouragement and gentle nature.  

These are my expectations and desires of my heart.  Of course, I would like to lose the fifteen or twenty pounds I have tried to lose for forty years.   Certainly, I would enjoy more travel.  Yes, I desire to sell my art and publish my book.  However, I am enjoying the process of learning, of living, of writing and painting.  This is my season of developing perseverance to complete my book.  So, I enter this New Year knowing if I keep Christ first, all things are possible.  Happy New Year.

Joy in the Morning

Joy in the Morning and Understanding For the Day

What generates hope and joy?  In my life, I visit with God early in the morning.  My meditations and readings of His word shape my day.   My thinking is enlarged with this time with Him.  My imagination is ignited, and His pure thoughts challenge my thinking.

Sometimes just a word or phrase penetrate my soul.  For example, this morning I was studying the Psalms.  They teach me to worship and have awe for my Creator.  “Know that the Lord is God, and it is He who made us, and we are His; we are his people, the sheep of His pasture.”  (Ps.100)  

There is comfort and peace knowing He made us.  Last week so many of my loved ones had medical exams, testing, or test results returned from previous MRI readings.  Because of His word, I know that they are His.  He has their back and mine.  We are His people and His faithfulness endures forever. Today I am trusting in His faithfulness to these people He has put in my life.  

I pray.  I hope.  I trust.  God is with them because they are the sheep of His pasture. He protects them like the good shepherd He is. The rhythm of His words bring harmony to my soul.  His teaching enriches my understanding.  I can recall his promises while I wait in a hospital for my husband, my friend,  or my grandchild.  They are held in His hand and are protected by His love. 

My soul is enriched by gathering His words in my heart.  My focus is centered on Him, not on medical findings.  I trust in His love and His justice and His mercy.  Because I tarry in the mornings with Him, I am at peace and able to intercede for those I love.  Jesus hears and intercedes for them and me.  I will sing of His love throughout my day.

Waiting for sunset

These are folks that assemble each night in Florida to see the sunset. As I too was a snow bird last year, I loved watching the sacred sunsets.

Each night I watched crippled, bent over folks shuffle through the sand to find a resting place. Suddenly, it hit me. We are all waiting for our final sunset. Each of us seeks, finds, creates, and inquires. Each person wonders what will happen in their future. Will they slip away like the silent sun behind the horizon? I guess deep down, all of us hope for such an easy passing into eternity. The sun previews each night how to slip away with dignity and rest for the night. The sun impacts each one of us. It provides the warmth needed for our food and existence. I thank God when I see sunrise each day. I am so grateful to see a new morn. I eagerly plan all that I want to do this day. I take not one moment for granted.

I begin the day studying scripture and talking to the Lord. I allow His word to shape me and direct me. I meditate on His love and sacrifice. I ask Him how I could bless Him this day. What person needs a meal, a smile, or a bit of encouragement? Which flower will He help me paint and see through His eyes and His creation? I ponder how I can end this day just like the sun. Have I given warmth or nourishment to anyone? Is there one last part of this day that I need to glorify God. Can I just "be" with Him in the garden and watch the sun slip into slumber? I never look at a sunset that I wonder will this be my last. Will Jesus call me or return? Sunsets are miracles in my mind's eye. They are day markers. They are symbolic memories. Each setting sun holds a dream, a day gone, and an expectation of what tomorrow will bring.