My Respite From Life and Blogging

I have been on a two month respite.  My husband and I chose to stay two months in Florida this year to escape the winter weather.  We just “dwelled.”  It was wonderful just to “be” for a change.  

This personal retreat is good for our marriage.  We choose an unpopulated part of Florida, and we know few people there.  We must rely on each other for comradeship, encouragement, entertainment, and events of the day.  After forty-four years, we know each other well.  So, we both exercise at the beginning of our day.  Denny bikes, and I do yoga and walk.  We both enjoy reading, so we go to the beach and sit and read.  We may take a simple lunch like an apple or peanut butter sandwich, but we just enjoy the sounds of the surf, the smell of the salt, the wildlife at Stump Pass, and shell collecting and beach walks.  It fills our day with so much peace. Just being one with the sea revives me.

One of my favorite times at the beach is late afternoon when the sun is cooler.  I perch my sand chair into the water and just let the waves gently bathe my feet and legs.  All I see is teal sea.  All I feel is the sun’s warmth and tepid waters.  I take in the salty air into my lungs and breathe deeply this fresh scent.  I stare at the level horizon and can feel my brain relax.  I reach down and pluck a new shell that the incoming tide brings to me. Its beauty is absorbing.  I feel the slick finish designed by the sea.  I roll the shell in my hands and peep into its crevices.  I marvel at the dainty swirled top and the elongated edges.  The gentle salmon entrance color creates a warmth within.  This is a treasure from the sea.  It is an unexpected gift of this day.  I delight in the water, the sun, the splashes, and my new found shell.  

I thank God for this beauty and unexpected gift.  I praise Him for His creation and all the beauty He has provided.  I feel His presence in the water, the swirling white clouds above, and the sifting sand below me.  I realize that I too am one of His many creations.  I am touched by the Almighty this day.  For this I am grateful.

It is because of days like this, I have not blogged.  I did not have a great internet connection and could not post my blogs.  I repeatedly lost them.  So, I decided I must need a respite from blogging as well.  I missed my blog buddies, my readers, and those of you who take time to comment.  I am at a point that I wonder if I should continue.  I send this message today to all my faithful followers and friends.  I have missed you.

Tree Timing

Tree Timing

God’s trees have been my refuse and my help since I was a small child. I remember sitting under a palm tree and talking to God.  He was my friend, and I talked to Him daily.  I would seek refuge from soft rains under the palm branches and feel so safe.

When I was seventeen, I had no money to go to college.  My parents were getting a divorce and had not saved or predicted I would go to college.  I was the first person of many cousins and relatives that decided go to a university.  Since my parents were selling our home and land, I asked if I could have five walnut trees cut before they put the land for sale.  Those five walnuts trees provided my first tuition deposit.  God provided the next four years.  That is another story for another time.  So, again,trees made provisions for me.

Today I still see trees as living creatures that give continually.  They give shelter to the hot and weary.  They bear fruit for all to eat.  I see oranges and grapefruit on trees and realize how generous each tree is.  Sweet cherries in Michigan bring many smiles to children’s faces.  Trees hold fame positions especially in the garden of Eden.  We all wonder what   kind of fruit could have been so tempting.

When we was rearing our sons, I used to claim they would grow as strong as the cedar trees of Lebanon.  Scriptures always referred to their strength, and when I saw them I knew why.  They are strong, resilient, magnificent trees.  I still claim that growth for our sons emotionally, physically, and spiritually.  

Trees are an integral part of my life.  I marvel at their spring beauty lit with dainty pink and white blossoms.  Those trees bring hope of warmer weather. I cherish old trees that have housed our children’s playhouses over thirty years ago.  I pray that I may be like a” tree planted by the water” as stated in Ps. 1:3.  I thank God for His gift of trees.  They show favor to humanity as does He. 

Studying the Sunsets

Studying the Sunset 

I have been studying each sunset and noticing the various colors, changing cloud formations, and the “awe” factor.  As I sit on the beach, I marvel at  how the reflection on the water changes moment by moment.  The once gray ocean slides into teal colored waters with spectacular red and gold highlights.  My mind grasps this vision and meditates on it long after the sun has slipped into the dark waters.

I realize that the sunset mirrors my search for the character of God.  Through the years, I have learned that Joshua Harris’ words are profound.  He says in his book Dug Down Deep, “What we know about God shapes the way we think and live.”  Studying God has affected every aspect of my life.  Like the sunset, His reflections have changed within me.  As a child, I talked to him under the psalm trees and knew Him as my friend, my playmate.  In my teens, I began to understand more fully that He had loved me so much that He had sent Jesus on this earth to save and nurture me.  As a young mom, I learned to trust him with my children’s lives and support me through their sicknesses and hardships.  When finances were scarce, He showed me He was my provider.  Each new wave of life and learning brought more understanding of the big picture.  I knew He was in each sunset and sunrise.  

Thomas Aquinas, the great theologian and philosopher said, “ Theology is taught by God, teaches God, and leads unto God.” In other words, our theology teaches us to care about the true things of God.  It teaches us to embrace our Heavenly Father through various colors of clouds.  It brings to light celebration of His Majesty upon our constantly changing seasons.  His word teaches us how to apply His reflection to our lives.  We reflect the Son’s light.  

I realize it is He who leads me beside still waters.  He rides on the clouds.  He provides for the poor.  He is my refuge.  He clothes the hills with gladness and creates sunsets for pondering and understanding His awe.  Each sunset creates in me a greater need to crave more of God.  

Plates of Sunshine and Pod Play

  “Focus,focus,focus. Be here.  Appreciate this moment,” the yoga teacher instructed.  Just then, a young porpoise appeared, breached, and played in the water very near the beach where 107 participants rejoiced at Portia’s (my name for her) appearance.  We appreciated Portia joining our class.  Portia joined our pod for a few minutes as she does many mornings.  I think Portia wants to be a part of us gathering sunshine on our plate.

Gathering sunshine on my plate is a buffet of life experiences.  For example, I smile incessantly and uncontrollably every time I walk along the coastline and see the shell treasures.  The sea delivers these gifts to all who walk by.  The shells are magnets.  I cannot help to bend over and collect just one more.  I marvel at their contour, pastel colors, and distinct shapes. I am sensitive to their smoothness or roughness.  I often will pick up one that has been broken yet shaped by the constant sifting and pulling of the waves.  Today I picked up a colorful and smooth rectangle.  I included it in my collection because it reminds me that sometimes even when I am broken, I can be smoothed and refined by God’s loving touch.  I appreciate each shell for the life it has led, the hardship it has known, or the long way it has traveled.  

On the shore, the shells are so plentiful that a passerby might not realize how each one is special.  The clams discard their homes and leave perfectly shaped fans. Tiny whelks are ornate on the outside and smooth and beautiful on the inside.  Large whelks allow me to hear the sea long after I have departed.  These shells become my plate of sunshine for this day.

Sometimes my plate is filled with fulfillment as I reach out to a child who is in need of a hug or a smile.  Another time I give a meal to a disabled neighbor.  Many times it is just a peck on the cheek for my husband when he feels unmotivated because of his stiff back. My purpose this day is to make them feel special, wanted, and encouraged.

Giving to others is my shell treasures to them.  I see the look on their faces and that is my treasure. This small gesture puts sunshine on their plate.  The sea teaches me to give freely and produce constantly.  These are the things that create my plate of sunshine.

As I awaken and read the scriptures, I am so filled with joy that God has offered me such treasures in His promises, His parables, and His recorded words.  These words fill my plate with sunshine and begin my day.  Whether it is Portia, sea walks, or God’s word, I can fill my plate each day.  I must find these treasures, see them, feel them, and search. “Focus, focus, focus.”  Only then can I know His light and creation.

                                                                                                                                                        

Marriage, A Yoga Relationship

Yoga in Marriage

Today I had a wonderful experience. I did yoga on the Englewood Beach. The instructor urged us to breathe with the ocean waves. The fine mist in the air gently washed away my cares and concerns. Approximately 100 people stretched to the sky and recognized the sand as their turf. It was a gentle class. I expect the instructor recognized we were mostly senior snow birds.

I was invigorated after our hour session. It was about 70 degrees. Warm feels wonderful to an Indiana gal. As I was walking back to our rental, I thought about the next few days.

We planned to fly to Seattle to witness our son’s wedding. He is 35 and has waited a long time to marry. This wedding is their official church wedding. He and Annie decided to be married before they lived together because they had been reared to know God’s ordainment is necessary and morally right. I so appreciated them taking this extra step. In April they are having a destination wedding with tropical flowers, event days, and lots of celebration. We are all traveling to Cozumel to have a wedding in the sands of time.

I realize this is exceptional in this era where so many couples choose just to live together. They make a commitment to share the rent. Somehow, rent sharing and fixing up a domain are not the basis for marriage. It is the external parts, but it takes God’s blessing to create a permanent bond. Even then, it is a difficult task to have a successful marriage in today’s culture. I pray often for Annie and Adam. I ask God to unite them in such a way that they will be magnets to each other for all of their life’s journey,

They understand it will take much work, patience, and turning their heads when one of them acts really stupid. I used to wonder how long” stupid” would last. Usually, the state of disrepair lasted a few hours when we were first married. After forty-three years, our “stupid” only lasts a short time. It is not because we are mature marrieds. We just seem to give each other more grace because we can’t remember if we are really right or wrong. Our most vivid attack is, “ Somebody”. We say, “Somebody forgot to put the milk away, close the cupboard, or give me a charge receipt,” and other such essential functions and earth shattering matters in marriage.

I enter into an understanding when I see an older couple holding hands as they walk together. Gravity has played a cruel trick on their once cute bodies. Heartaches and worries have engraved etchings on their faces. Rearing and running children made permanent laugh lines around their eyes and upturned mouths. The hand in hand couple look within to find comfort, honor, and respect. These are the foundations of a lasting marriage. I see them laugh as they pull up and down their swim suits in a synchronized way trying to hide the bulges that make most clothes feel awkward. It just doesn’t matter. They are one in heart, soul, and body. They have earned the right to bulge and still feel love, passion, and admiration for each other. These are the condiments of an old marriage.

I pray that Annie and Adam will feel the rhythm of the waves that I heard this morning. I want them to be the cleansing air and soft mist for each other. I know they will stretch each other, but I pray they can stay in balance as I did in the tree position. If they lose that balance, may they refocus, realign, and recall how good it felt to be stable as one. Just as yoga takes years of practice to perfect; so does marriage. Like yoga, even the practice is enjoyable. A session can create enlightenment, renewal, or a new understanding. Each season of marriage does much the same if we relax and let it work within us and outside of us. Ahhh, stretch Annie and Adam. You are in for a delightful season. Blessings to you both in learning balance.

Ellie,my Reading Fairy

 

This is Ellie. She is almost two and has already found her creative self. She and sister have a costume box , which they delight in using almost daily. Pretending to be what you think you are is their daily doctrine. Not a bad motto for life.

Ellie loves to dawn this bright red net dress and purple wings. She Skypes me in her “butiful costume” as she says. This dress just makes her happy. In the photo Grandpa is reading to her. She now has new slippers that she wears even to bed.

Oh, wouldn’t we all want to be as free as a two year old? She doesn’t care what others think of her fashion choices. She likes them. She doesn’t worry if her family loves her. She knows they do and acts loved. She loves her babies, kisses them, and talks to them gently. She emanates the love she knows and feels.

She smiles often and giggles until she falls down. When we say “no” , she melts into the floor like a collapsing building. She says, “ no, Mimi” over and over just to hear herself say no to an adult. I hear that little voice in my head each day. She is demanding to be heard and does it boldly and like a two year old. I often tell her, "You are acting two, Ellie.” She replies, “No, Mimi”.

She reads constantly. She reads alone or brings me a book or anyone else who will read it to her. I love to watch her face as we read the familiar words and pictures. She lights up when she sees the babies playing with balloons and costumes. Her little jaw drops and her lips pout when we read about a baby who is crying. Her emotions are shaped by these words. Through these words she identifies with her life experiences and expectations. Books are her surge protector, her data base, her dictionary, and her entertainment. Once again Ellie has reminded her grandmother of some dynamic life principles.

Dress in what makes you happy. Pretend to be what you wish you were and soon it will be a part of your persona. Act loved because you are. Allow your emotions to be a part of you everyday. Read often, read often, read often. Words will inspire you and shape you. That child like spirit is irrepressible. She is naturally creative and makes me appreciate life more each day.

Faith in Him, not Me

,f 

What Is In Your Hand?

While reading in Exodus this morning, I was reminded of how Moses tried everything not to be God’s messenger to the Egyptians. Moses pointed out his age, his poor command of the language,and his inabilities. God knew his heart. God knew Moses had a heart of wax that could be molded by the Spirit of God. God trusted that Moses would eventually listen to God's call. To further persuade Moses, God asked, "What's in your hand?"

For some reason, Moses' first reaction gives me comfort. I too have many times told the Lord I am not equipped to be His messenger. I too have inwardly been asked, “ What is in you hand?”

It is a sobering question to answer before the Lord. He has made me and given me my gifts, my inclinations, my heart for Him. I must be honest before Him because He knows me. He knows me so much better than I know myself.

I thought I could not manage or live through Alzheimer’s with my mother. God showed me that in my hand was optimism. I could be by her side and cheer her with my presence. I could offer her art opportunities , so she could still be involved in color. Recently, I found one of the notebooks where we had drawn butterflies, flowers, and spring blossoms. Because of her foggy mind, Mamma’s pictures were distorted, but her colors were loud and strong. I would applaud her efforts and command of color. She would smile sweetly . This brought me such joy. God knew what was in my hand.

Another time God asked me to go to Kazakhstan. At first , I was so reluctant. I drug my feet. My excuses were: I don’t know the language, it is too far away, I was taught fear of Russia as a child, I am not ready, and I did not have that much money. I sounded a bit like Moses. My lack of confidence was in me. I wasn’t giving credence to my God and His power, His words, and His favor. It took me a couple of years to trust Him totally. Finally, I listened and said, “ I am weak but You are strong. Let’s go together.”

I should have responded that way immediately. Gratefully, He knew my heart. He knew I had to prepare my spirit to rely on Him , not me. He knew what was in my hand . He knew I could be used to touch the educator’s hearts and minds in Kazakhstan. My visits there have given me growth, insights into their culture, and best friends. God knew what I needed to develop me and help them. He knew the gifts He had given me and only asked me to use them, and He would do the speaking, the demonstrations, and guide my teachings. Again, leaning on Him , following His urging brought me such joy and understanding of His power, His presence, and His love.

These difficult times have developed my faith, my trust , and love of God. I pray today that my heart is waxen, not hard like Pharaoh’s . May this week bring us all a week of listening and learning. May we answer willingly and come to realize what is in our hand.