Boundaries

 

We have all become aware of the importance of boundaries in our lives.  In the beginning, God made it clear there were land boundaries that marked tribal territories.  In the book of Job, we learned of the borderland that God created to hold in the seas and between light and darkness.  In Psalms, David claimed: “the boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places, surely I have a delightful inheritance.”

God’s boundaries written in His commandments and living word provide protection and blessings for me.  As a youth, I did not realize this.  In my rebellion , I would drive too fast, stayed out late, and frequented unsafe areas.  This entire boundary breaking put me in danger.  I was inconvincible.  When I crossed those limits, I suffered consequences,;some of those trespasses resulted in lessons and scars for a lifetime.

Our granddaughters have a little neighborhood gang and decided they needed to create their own rules, so they could get along.  They designed a banner long enough to scroll from the ceiling to the baseboard. The title of their gang is “Life Learners”.  Also on the banner, they each wrote a goal, a boundary, or their truth.  Their ages range from a 5-years-old to my oldest granddaughter, Ava, who is 10.  Ava, always playing teacher, created an agenda notebook where each child’s name was written followed by three areas that needed improvement.  If they achieved two of the three objectives in a week, she rewarded them with a star or a stuffed toy from her abundant stockpile. (I’m wondering if I make a banner, if my boyfriend, my roommate of 49 years, will buy into this idea.)

Here are some snapshots of the gang’s banner and their mottos and even a poem, which depicts their understanding.  I was touched when Ava and Ellis took me upstairs and showed me their project.  This old blogger, who has written life lessons for six years, was moved to tears.  Ava asked, “Why are you crying?  Ellis asked, “Do you think it will work, Mimi?  My answer, “You are much wiser than your years.  I am very proud and so in love with you and your project.”

They have realized early in their lives the importance of boundaries.  Will they be broken? Of course, but they are trying at a young age to give honor to each other’s space and place. This simple neighborhood project has assured me our future generation is warming their hands and hearts on life’s long ladder.

70 YEARS OF LESSONS

70 years of lessons

1.     Being a kid is fun; so I will continue to be one until I die.

2.     Take time to breathe, and breathe deeply.

3.     Laugh when things are funny. When things aren’t funny, find something funny about the situation.  Laugh and laugh some more.

4.     Creating draws from the soul, so I seek my soul’s help often.

5.     Create paintings, collages, recipes, gardens, writings, quilts, scrapbooks, journals, wreaths, and anything else that is fun.  Try to create something everyday.

6.     Seek the presence of God as many minutes a day as I would want Him to protect and love me. 

7.     Be spontaneous! You’re a kid, remember?

8.     Be flexible, it makes stretching lessons so much easier.

9.     Get outside as much as you can.  Outside air generates more energy.

10. Love with the intensity and energy that it takes to remove a stubborn pickle lid.

11. Say “I love you,” more than you think you need to do.

12. Hug all who are loveable, and hug the unlovable twice as much.

13. Read God’s word every day.

14. Seek God.

15. Teach a child a life lesson whether you are playing ball, making art, or eating dinner with them.

16. Eat at the dining table everyday and offer blessings to all who are there.

17. Use your best crystal to drink your wine.  Today is special.

18. Float with the musical notes around you. Dance and turn round and round.

19. Sing simply; sing often.

20. Forgive your past; God has.

21. Savor the sparkles in the sea, the warm breeze against your skin, the sweet smell of Jasmine tea, the purity of a clear blue sky, and the fragrance of the rose.

22. Learn from your adult children.  They are bright. After all, who were their mother and father?

23. Cherish old and new friendships.  Each of these people was sent from God to help mold you. 

24. Giggle with your husband and at your husband every day of your life. 

25. Hold no grudges.  They make wrinkles in your soul and your brow.

26. Read constantly.  Read for pleasure, learning, coping, and hoping.

27. Pray constantly for your children and grandchildren. You may be their only intercessor for the day.

28. Guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith.

29. Do not weary the Lord with your words, “Where is the God of justice?” Know that He is justice and righteousness.  Trust Him.

30. If life is going to work on my behalf, I must give myself permission to grow, to change, and to let go.

31. For me to grow spiritually, I must make an empty space by ridding myself of garbage.  Then, a new truth and epiphany can have room to enter.

32. Be content by not comparing.  Just be.

33. Reach for new truths, special activities, and meeting new people.  These will enrich your body, mind, and soul.

34. Remember to say prayers of thanks everyday.  They make God smile.

35. Slow down. I can’t get to my destination until I get there.  Enjoy the curves, the hills, and valleys.

36. Life is good if I choose to think it is.

37. Accept that sometimes I make wrong turns, choices, or words. God forgives me so should I.

38. We are made in God’s image.  Be merciful; it is built within.

39. Resist blaming or imagining the worst.  Instead, take one step, a baby step in the process of understanding the lesson that is to be learned.

40. Remember all the snow that the storm brought must melt someday.  The storm is passing.  This too shall pass.

41. I know that in all situations, every day, in every situation, I can depend on God.  He never fails.

42. Take time for rest, reflection, and time alone.  Spiritual vibrations only happen when we take time for them.

43. When I can’t, faith can.

44. Grab every opportunity to travel.  Save for it, so when the great deal comes along, you can go.

45. Find the sacred in everyday.

46. The color of the sky at its last light paints an orange you will never forget.

47. Pay attention to the sparkle in another’s eye or respond to the hurt you feel in their heart.

48. Know everyone has a story.  Take time to ask them.

49. If you really listen, you can hear each other’s pain and fears.  Pray for them.

50. Behold the blossom. It won’t last for long.

51. Listen to your life.  Your smallest incident may be your biggest moment of awareness.

52. Love well.

53. I’ve learned that everyday I need to reach out and give a hug, pat someone on the back, or drop a special note of affirmation.

54. Life gives second chances if you are sensitive enough to find them

55. No matter how awful today is I know that joy will return in the morning or perhaps the next day.

56. Enjoy now.  It doesn’t matter if you are overweight; under dressed, house is a mess, or a bad hair day.  Just enjoy today and cherish the now.

57. Kiss often, hug spontaneously, and pray for your spouse every day.

58. Laugh uncontrollably at anything that starts that giggle force.

59. Dance with your Heavenly Father. Twirl, waltz, and bow before him often.

60. Doodle when idle, it is like yoga for the brain.

61. Allow your toes to sink in the sand, splash in a mud puddle, or stand bare footed on soft grass because it will make you aware of how really grounded you are.

62. Thank your bones, tissue, ligaments, hands, feet, legs, cells, and any other parts of your body for being healthy and moving you through this journey. Speak gratefulness to your body.

63. Gratitude is the key to happy living.  Pausing, seeing, and looking for the little things that make life great brings not only joy, but also humility. I am humbled because I have not taken time to appreciate my mother’s teacup and all the memories it holds.  I am humbled when you acknowledge it is your husband’s morning kiss that means far more than the gifts he buys for me. 

64. Speaking of gifts; everyone enjoys a surprise gift for no reason at all except that they are dear to me.

65. Tell your grandchildren about your childhood.  Tell them things you feared or desired and ask them to share the same with you.  I discover amazing things in the minds and hearts of my sweet granddaughters.

66. Write your children a yearly letter (I choose birthdays).  I tell them why I love them and the gifts that I admire in them. I share stories of their past and cute things they did as little guys.  I write through tears because I love them so much.

67. I’ve kept a daily journal for years and years.  It grounds me and I share new truths, epiphanies, and dreams in it.  I copy favorite poems or talk about a book that had permanent impact on my mind, soul, or body.

68. I try to exercise everyday. I remind myself that those who age well aren’t necessarily killing themselves in hours in the gym, but they are choosing exercise that they enjoy.  I bet that is why they do it each day.

69. Learning to listen is the greatest gift a mother can give to her kids, a spouse to her mate, and a grandmother to her grand babies.  Listen well and concentrate on what details they are willing to share and are important to them.

70. Live life well.  It may be a sunbath at the beach, setting a beautiful table from the flowers in your yard, creating a painting that no one may like but you.  Share dinner with your family as often as possible.  Speak positives and affirmations to encourage those around you. I’m still learning to live life well but sure am enjoying the moment I am in.

A New Chapter of Life

 

A Most Unusual Memorial Day

            “To every thing there is a season.”  I was so excited in 1973 when we moved into our new home. We had it built to our specifications and were ready for our new chapter of life, living in Country Village.  We had only one child, age three, at that time.  Life was good and new neighbors were friendly. The years brought another baby boy and twenty years of Young Life meetings in our new home.  Church friends and prayer meetings filled our living area.  I loved cooking and they loved eating here and praying. 

            Teens hung out in our garage and played pool and stayed all night.  Those same teens appeared at Delta High School in my English classes.  Hours of planning and grading papers took up many evenings.  Weekends were filled with soccer, wrestling, football and tennis games as we watched our sons compete.  Holiday meals and celebrations filled every corner of our home and remodeling projects continued through 2010. 

            We love our house, and the endless borders of gardens around our lawn.  But, the season is over.  With a beginning prayer, meditation, discussions for a week, and a continued confirmation that God wanted us to move, I biked over to a stranger’s home around the corner.  A friend at lunch told me this family was renting and looking for a house in Country Village. I appeared at their door , introduced myself, and said, “ I  think you need to see our house.”  They had three real estate visits that evening , but said they could come to our house on Friday.  They loved our house, confirmed on Sat. they wanted it , and bought it on Memorial Day.   

            Now, I am rejoicing that I can live in the same town with my granddaughters, and stay longer in Englewood, Fla. during the winter. My sister sold her house the same week and for the first time in over sixty years, we can live near each other and paint together.
      It is bittersweet rejoicing because I am leaving my neighbors of forty years.  We have shared joys and losses together.  We helped raise each other’s children.  My best friend and I have walked the Country Village circle hundreds and hundreds of times discussing our lives and our children’s lives.   We know every tree, house, and crack in the streets.  However, everything has a season and my time in Muncie is over.  I am sad to leave good friends, Commonway, my church, my writer’s groups, my art friends, and the countless number of students I have taught and watched grow and have families of their own. 

            Denny and I begin a new chapter in our retirement.  I am sorting, purging and selling household items.  I want to travel light in these next years.  I have so many things for sale: arts and crafts, dishes, furniture, linens, and antiques.  I will be posting soon about sale opportunities. 

            However, my facebook friends come with me wherever I roam.  For that I am grateful. By blog will help me stay in touch with my friends and followers.  My heart will always remain in Muncie because this town has given me many close friends and opportunities.  At the end of July we will move.  I suspect my blog may be a little neglected these next couple of months,  but I will continue it when we get settled in Fort Wayne. Thank you, Muncie for all your love.

Practice Wonderment

“Oh, for the wonder that bubbles into my soul” D.H. Lawerence

Recently, I was visited by my granddaughters.  Ellie is only two but teaches me so many life lessons.  She is dressed like a ballerina; she thinks she is a ballerina; and the big blue bow in her hair restates, “ I am a ballerina.”  She is not old enough to attend a class, but her big sister takes lessons.  Ellie has only been allowed to observe.  Yet, she is a ballerina in her heart and mind.  The art of ballet has bubbled into her soul and made her one.

In wonderment, children are our best teachers.  It is their natural state.  We seem to lose track of wonderment as we age. We become a bit calloused, jaded you might say.  Oh, yes, another wedding, another sunrise, another dinner party, another birthday present.  Our attitude is detached and uninvolved.

 Something happens to our sense of surprise.  We take life for granted and expect this dinner to be just like the last.  We all remember those faces of toddlers as they experienced peas for the first time.  Out those new veggies came creating a green, slimy chin and a sidesplitting facial snarl.  Baby was surprised and we laughed.  That is how our daily lives should be lived.  We can recapture the sense of amazement at any moment. All it takes is to open our taste buds of living and make our world come alive.

For one minute, stop, listen, and recollect.  What do you hear where you are sitting?  A groaning ice maker, the soft hum of an appliance, or a clash of trash as the garbage truck picks up on your street.  Listen.  Anything new you hear?

Try really noticing what is around you.  Ellie always points to the smallest spot on the floor and says, “ What’s that MiMi?”  I have to really look to see what she sees.  Often it is a piece of fuzz, a broken lead from a pencil, or even a dried leaf.  The point is: she notices it.  She is looking for a surprise element on an ordinary wooden floor. 

 As I write this, I see a recent wedding photo from Adam and Annie’s destination wedding.  I see a fifteen year old wedding photo of John and Christine.  Life is changing right on my bulletin board.  I look at these familiar photos and discover Christine carried roses and daisies.  Annie carried lilies and roses in her wedding bouquet.  One arrangement is pastel and the other vibrant oranges and yellows.  Even how they held their wedding flowers revealed a bit of their individual personalities.  It is amazing what I can see in those photos.  I am like a magnifying glass searching for clues ,and I find answers to new questions.  

We can touch wonder in every moment of our day if we just slow down and see, hear, touch, feel.  We are all ballerinas if we just take time to think like one, see like one, and become aware of our surroundings.  Ellie helped me capture wonderment, and I am once again thankful for the familiar, the ordinary, the normal.  Thanks to her I see new light and understanding.  Wonderment creates gratitude.  Thank you, Ellie.

The Manger is Empty but the Light is Still On

I have been reading The Manger Is Empty by Walter Wangerin.  His allegorical tales of the beauty and mystery of Christ’s birth have penetrated my heart.  As you who read me often,  understand that I love to meditate on the scriptures. I  try to put myself in Bethlehem the night of our dear Savior’s birth.  I enjoy visualizing Mary and Joseph and their reactions to Gabriel’s news to them.  I cannot know the details, but I understand the spirit of the words of the gospel depictions of that sacred night in the inn.  I realize that there was darkness all about the land. 

Man’s sinful nature had darkened the land and man’s heart.  We , mankind, needed a light.  Not a small candle, not a flaming chandelier, but we needed a light so bright , so immersing that it would reflect in our soul forever.  That was when God incarnate came to this earth as a tiny babe.  God chose a baby to communicate His message of love.

I know why.  Who is not allured by the cooing of a new born?  Who of you has seen the birth of a child?  It is at the very moment that babe takes his first breath that you ,the bystander, recognize a miracle. 

In 1970 , I helped start a school for teenage mothers at the YWCA.  I was called to be a part of this because when I taught at Central in 1969, pregnant girls were not allowed to attend public school.  Who needed an education more than a fifteen year old young lady with child?  I asked to help.  My superior was a fifty year old spinster with definite feelings about young girls out of wedlock.  I am not sure whether God put me there for me to nourish my  boss or nurture the young moms and babes.  I suspect I needed a little molding and purifying too.  My boss and I sharpened each other like steel against steel.  However, neither of us lost sight of our goal, which was to help the pregnant girl adjust to  motherhood and complete her education.  Retrospectively, I see how amazing that was.  We were both hard headed but big hearted.  We both wanted to make a difference in their lives.  I was called and she was assigned this new duty.  Together, with God’s grace, we built a mini school that facilitated education and parenting.

I would hear the phone at 2 a.m. and a soft voice would say, “ What are you doing Mrs. B?” 
I replied, “Just sleeping.  Do you need something?” 
“Yes, I am in labor, can you come to the hospital with me?”
“ Sure , I will be there shortly.”

It was the grandest opportunity of my teaching career.  I was chosen to be her encourager, or her birth coach, or her advocate.  Few father’s arrived to witness the birth of their babies.  Most of the fathers were long gone after the announcement of the pregnancy. Because of the moral embarrassment, many daughters and moms had become alienated.  I was just a neutral person who counted it all joy to witness the birth of a babe.  I heard the cry of the mother and tried to keep her focused.  When I heard the cry of the babe, I knew God was present. His light was there.  He breathed life into this little babe and made him whole.  I felt like the shepherds who witnessed the sky splitting open and allowing blinding light to guide them to the new babe.  Regardless of the circumstances, each birth I witnessed clarified my understanding of  a God so big, so miraculous, so creative that  I could not wrap my mind around His abilities, His gifts, His wisdom, or His ways. 

It has been many years since I was called to be a part of the birth process.  I did have one friend that asked me to come with her and her husband to be by their side at their first born son.  It still awed me how great our God is.

So, star of wonder , star of bright lead me to His holy sight.  I am praying that melody as I look upon the light given to our world.  Mary too was a young teen in a culture that did not accept births out of wedlock.  Both Mary and my former students were misunderstood.  Mary brought us Jesus supernaturally.  Jesus brought light into our dark world, our dark hearts.  The birth of a babe is a supernatural way to teach us of unconditional love.  Mary taught that.  My teenagers taught me that.  Most importantly, Jesus taught that for all the world to see, not just the wise men, not just Joseph and Mary, but all of us who cherishes the manger story each Advent season. 

Please share this story with your children, your grandchildren , and your neighbors and help them know the light that illuminated the earth two thousand years ago as well as today. During this busy season, take time to tell this old, old story and join in this Christmas season by bringing light to others.