Cycles of Thanksgiving

     As we get ready for holidays, memories filter from my past. Nostalgia creeps through brain waves and reminds me of my blessings, losses, loves, and beginnings. 

      Thanksgiving as a child meant it was closer to Christmas.It meant eating my mom’s hot buttered rolls, southern style sweet potatoes, and key lime pie. I didn’t have time to stuff myself because kids are too busy playing and laughing with cousins and friends.

       As I grew older, Thanksgiving meant coming home from Ohio University to eat my mother’s gourmet cooking. I rejoiced at the delicious cornucopia of aromas. The dressing was fluffy and perfectly seasoned as was the gravy that smothered the heavily buttered mashed potatoes. Thinking about the sweet potatoes and cranberry salad still makes my mouth water. Admittedly, I selfishly looked forward to Thanksgiving break to devour scrumptious food and sleep. When I awakened, I‘d go see high school friends to catch up on their lives and share my latest news. Since we had no cell phones or tablets, we had a backup of stories that needed to be shared. I did little toward making the food or spending time with my parents. I was twenty and read to trot.

     As a young mom, my focus and understanding of Thanksgiving began to change. It was about setting an artful table, and planning and cooking the entire meal.  I rushed the little lads from the kitchen to play with dad and worked laboriously trying to create a tasty meal as my mom had done through the years.  I invited folks who had nowhere to go for Thanksgiving and relatives who would drive to Muncie to spend the holiday with us. I worked all week cleaning, cooking, and preparing a special meal. I realized all the standing, peeling, baking, and cooking my mom had done for me all those years was exhausting. I understood the pressure of getting every dish to come out on time, together, piping hot, and delicious. Thanksgiving meant a lot of hard work, but it was worth it when I heard the “yums” from those sitting around our table, and the smiling faces of my husband and sons.  Men waddled into the living room to watch the Detroit Lions, children played board games, and I was back in the kitchen cleaning up the mess with help from a couple of my aunts.

      As a mom of college kids, I cooked furiously to provide the dinner that fulfilled the guys’ expectations.  I couldn’t wait to see them, hug them, and hear of their adventures abroad or at the Naval Academy. I was obsessed to make the perfect meal. They, like I, came home, stuffed themselves with turkey, dressing and a boatload of gravy.  They inhaled pumpkin and pecan pies like a vacuum sucks up dirt. Then, off they went to see their friends and catch up on what had been happening. Den helped me clean up the mess, as adults chose to snooze, play cards, or watch football. The cycle was the same. I understood but wanted more time with our sons. I am sure my mom wanted more time with me too. But, soon the holiday was over, and the guys returned to college. 

     My focus has changed through the years.  It is important to be a part of serving the less fortunate and providing food products for families so other mom’s can cook. I pray for the needy and hungry. I understand now that Thanksgiving was so much more than about my perfect meal.  Many had no meals, no fancy table, no kids that returned to them for a family time.  The elderly have an institutional turkey dinner in the facilities where they live.  Dinner is humdrum and tasteless unless there is an unexpected visitor or invitation by a family member. These elderly ladies yearn to return to their kitchens to mash potatoes, grind fresh cranberries, and be exhausted from serving. 

     I understand that I have almost made the full cycle of Thanksgiving. Den and I are the older aunt and uncle invited to dinner. I will bring pies and rejoice with younger cousins about their tales of travel, hear the stories of how illness has altered the lives of my beloved aunts and uncles, laugh with cousins about all our genetic flaws, and reminisce on all the wonderful Thanksgivings in our past. I am thankful for all the memories of sitting down and giving thanks for our lives, family, friends, and the mother, who taught me the importance of sacrificing, cooking and creating a welcoming table so loved ones could come and share the day.

     Enjoy your Thanksgiving in the cycle where you are this holiday.

  

Deep Roots

Deep roots make lasting family ties

     My mother’s roots came from Kentucky.  Beginning forefathers were named Childers and Hammock.  One of my most memorable stories my mother would tell me is when her grandfather, who was the Sheriff of Rock Castle County, was gunned down on the porch of a church where he was hanging his guns before he entered the church service.  I have tried to visualize that day so many times. 

     Since I was a child, the Childers and Hammocks celebrated Memorial Day at the cemetery in Middletown, Ohio.  I remember my great aunts decorating the graves and sharing stories of their loved ones.  As a child, I loved listening to my ancestor’s antics and accomplishments.  After singing some hymns accompanied by guitar and banjo picking uncles and cousins, we would go to Armco Park and have an all day picnic.  Apple stack cakes, fresh green beans with ham hocks, scalloped potatoes, crisp country friend chicken, creamy potato salad, home made breads, and collard greens were just part of the menu.  It was one of my favorite holidays because of the stories, the food, and the banjos.  I loved singing old hymns with my family.  There were so many cousins that came from Cincinnati, Washington DC, and nearby areas that I could not know all of them.  Since mom was one of nine children, there were many first and second cousins.

     This memorial day we gathered in Springboro, Ohio at my cousin Billy Hammock’s farm.  It is no longer a family tradition to go to the cemetery.  Younger cousins don’t even understand how important decorating family graves were in the 50’s and 60’s.  Yet, our family still comes together to share wonderful food,  tell stories, chase little cousins, calm crying babies, and gather on the porch to hear Billy tell tales of our families who fought in the wars to maintain our freedom.  Civil War stories are the best when Billy recounts the roles of our relatives in the war. Names like Enoch, Eli, and Levi are repeated through the generations.  It is still a blessing to gather together, to pray together, and sing those old hymns.  Tears stand in eyes as we share stories of recent aunts and uncles and cousins who have gone on to be with Jesus.  It is a blessing to have deep roots in our family but our deepest and sustaining roots are in Jesus of Nazareth.

     The featured photo is a 1913 gathering of brothers and their dad.  It is obvious there is dramatic flair back then.  I cherish this old photo because it shares some of my family’s other interest. (Snickering by me)  So, as in any family, there is tomfoolery and partying as well as the deep roots that have kept us celebrating Memorial Day together.

70 YEARS OF LESSONS

70 years of lessons

1.     Being a kid is fun; so I will continue to be one until I die.

2.     Take time to breathe, and breathe deeply.

3.     Laugh when things are funny. When things aren’t funny, find something funny about the situation.  Laugh and laugh some more.

4.     Creating draws from the soul, so I seek my soul’s help often.

5.     Create paintings, collages, recipes, gardens, writings, quilts, scrapbooks, journals, wreaths, and anything else that is fun.  Try to create something everyday.

6.     Seek the presence of God as many minutes a day as I would want Him to protect and love me. 

7.     Be spontaneous! You’re a kid, remember?

8.     Be flexible, it makes stretching lessons so much easier.

9.     Get outside as much as you can.  Outside air generates more energy.

10. Love with the intensity and energy that it takes to remove a stubborn pickle lid.

11. Say “I love you,” more than you think you need to do.

12. Hug all who are loveable, and hug the unlovable twice as much.

13. Read God’s word every day.

14. Seek God.

15. Teach a child a life lesson whether you are playing ball, making art, or eating dinner with them.

16. Eat at the dining table everyday and offer blessings to all who are there.

17. Use your best crystal to drink your wine.  Today is special.

18. Float with the musical notes around you. Dance and turn round and round.

19. Sing simply; sing often.

20. Forgive your past; God has.

21. Savor the sparkles in the sea, the warm breeze against your skin, the sweet smell of Jasmine tea, the purity of a clear blue sky, and the fragrance of the rose.

22. Learn from your adult children.  They are bright. After all, who were their mother and father?

23. Cherish old and new friendships.  Each of these people was sent from God to help mold you. 

24. Giggle with your husband and at your husband every day of your life. 

25. Hold no grudges.  They make wrinkles in your soul and your brow.

26. Read constantly.  Read for pleasure, learning, coping, and hoping.

27. Pray constantly for your children and grandchildren. You may be their only intercessor for the day.

28. Guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith.

29. Do not weary the Lord with your words, “Where is the God of justice?” Know that He is justice and righteousness.  Trust Him.

30. If life is going to work on my behalf, I must give myself permission to grow, to change, and to let go.

31. For me to grow spiritually, I must make an empty space by ridding myself of garbage.  Then, a new truth and epiphany can have room to enter.

32. Be content by not comparing.  Just be.

33. Reach for new truths, special activities, and meeting new people.  These will enrich your body, mind, and soul.

34. Remember to say prayers of thanks everyday.  They make God smile.

35. Slow down. I can’t get to my destination until I get there.  Enjoy the curves, the hills, and valleys.

36. Life is good if I choose to think it is.

37. Accept that sometimes I make wrong turns, choices, or words. God forgives me so should I.

38. We are made in God’s image.  Be merciful; it is built within.

39. Resist blaming or imagining the worst.  Instead, take one step, a baby step in the process of understanding the lesson that is to be learned.

40. Remember all the snow that the storm brought must melt someday.  The storm is passing.  This too shall pass.

41. I know that in all situations, every day, in every situation, I can depend on God.  He never fails.

42. Take time for rest, reflection, and time alone.  Spiritual vibrations only happen when we take time for them.

43. When I can’t, faith can.

44. Grab every opportunity to travel.  Save for it, so when the great deal comes along, you can go.

45. Find the sacred in everyday.

46. The color of the sky at its last light paints an orange you will never forget.

47. Pay attention to the sparkle in another’s eye or respond to the hurt you feel in their heart.

48. Know everyone has a story.  Take time to ask them.

49. If you really listen, you can hear each other’s pain and fears.  Pray for them.

50. Behold the blossom. It won’t last for long.

51. Listen to your life.  Your smallest incident may be your biggest moment of awareness.

52. Love well.

53. I’ve learned that everyday I need to reach out and give a hug, pat someone on the back, or drop a special note of affirmation.

54. Life gives second chances if you are sensitive enough to find them

55. No matter how awful today is I know that joy will return in the morning or perhaps the next day.

56. Enjoy now.  It doesn’t matter if you are overweight; under dressed, house is a mess, or a bad hair day.  Just enjoy today and cherish the now.

57. Kiss often, hug spontaneously, and pray for your spouse every day.

58. Laugh uncontrollably at anything that starts that giggle force.

59. Dance with your Heavenly Father. Twirl, waltz, and bow before him often.

60. Doodle when idle, it is like yoga for the brain.

61. Allow your toes to sink in the sand, splash in a mud puddle, or stand bare footed on soft grass because it will make you aware of how really grounded you are.

62. Thank your bones, tissue, ligaments, hands, feet, legs, cells, and any other parts of your body for being healthy and moving you through this journey. Speak gratefulness to your body.

63. Gratitude is the key to happy living.  Pausing, seeing, and looking for the little things that make life great brings not only joy, but also humility. I am humbled because I have not taken time to appreciate my mother’s teacup and all the memories it holds.  I am humbled when you acknowledge it is your husband’s morning kiss that means far more than the gifts he buys for me. 

64. Speaking of gifts; everyone enjoys a surprise gift for no reason at all except that they are dear to me.

65. Tell your grandchildren about your childhood.  Tell them things you feared or desired and ask them to share the same with you.  I discover amazing things in the minds and hearts of my sweet granddaughters.

66. Write your children a yearly letter (I choose birthdays).  I tell them why I love them and the gifts that I admire in them. I share stories of their past and cute things they did as little guys.  I write through tears because I love them so much.

67. I’ve kept a daily journal for years and years.  It grounds me and I share new truths, epiphanies, and dreams in it.  I copy favorite poems or talk about a book that had permanent impact on my mind, soul, or body.

68. I try to exercise everyday. I remind myself that those who age well aren’t necessarily killing themselves in hours in the gym, but they are choosing exercise that they enjoy.  I bet that is why they do it each day.

69. Learning to listen is the greatest gift a mother can give to her kids, a spouse to her mate, and a grandmother to her grand babies.  Listen well and concentrate on what details they are willing to share and are important to them.

70. Live life well.  It may be a sunbath at the beach, setting a beautiful table from the flowers in your yard, creating a painting that no one may like but you.  Share dinner with your family as often as possible.  Speak positives and affirmations to encourage those around you. I’m still learning to live life well but sure am enjoying the moment I am in.

Christmas Rehearsal

Christmas Rehearsal

Have you ever considered that Christmas is a life map? Christmas has all the temptations of life as well as the praise worthy components.

Think about that glittery package decked with a bright red ribbon so large it tumbles over the shiny foil wrapping. It looks like a treasure. Everyone o oohs and awes over the elegance of the wrapping. No one would suspect that inside is a worn pair of mittens. Isn’t that much like us? We bedeck ourselves with mask of makeup, svelte fitting undergarments to disguise our bulges, and expensive dresses to cover our flaws. We are a wrapped package to the eyes of the world. What is within? Have we weathered too many storms and our thoughts are always critical? Have we nurtured the bitter seed of divorce, rejection, despair , and it has grown massive and hardened our heart ? Does our velvet black cocktail dress hide our hurts?

Consider all the sweet temptations. We relish each plate of cookies or red velvet cake that passes our way. The fudge, the ribbon candy, and the caramels are just too much to resist. We eat and eat and submit to each temptation that comes our way. Is this perhaps a forerunner of our lack of discipline for the new year ?

The lack of budgets and savings create a charge card filled with gifts from every store in the area as well as Amazon and other well known on line sites. We buy and buy more. If we see a lovely silk scarf for our sister, we like it so much we buy ourselves one too. Yes, that gift of wine is nice for the hostess , but we add two to our pantry as well. It is a strange kind of generosity. If they will enjoy it, so will I. In the frenzy of black Friday, have you found the greatest bargains for yourself? Again, is Christmas shopping a test of our generosity versus our greed?

Families merge and traditions continue. There is so much fun for the children and warmth in family togetherness. However, how many times have we realized the Chevy Chase extended Christmas family is ours? We are struggling with Aunt Mary’s same stories of health concerns about her constipation. We can’t bare for our brother to boss and organize one more family function. We are at our husband’s throat because of all the stress of his family? Again, think about this as a dress rehearsal. Is God using this time to test our selflessness, our compassion, our loyalty to Him and His children?

As I have meditated on Christmas this year, the Lord keeps showing me each aspect of Christmas has been stolen by the enemy. What was intended to present Emmanuel with us has become a trial rather than a blessing. Apparently, movie makers have understood this for years and realized that tear makers are money makers.

We are reminded continually this is a holy season. We must enter each task, each challenge, each celebration with the mind of Christ. He has created an opportunity for our light to shine and our discipline to matter. He has come not only as a babe in the manger but as our Provider each Christmas season. I am accepting the challenge of seeing Christmas as a test of my true self. Do I really have a heart for the poor? Am I rejoicing in all things? Am I showing compassion and love to my family? Am I able to set aside my selfish desires and find joy in giving and serving willingly? Am I really my neighbor's keeper? I cannot answer yes to many of these questions. However, looking at Christmas in this way has given me new understanding and trust in how much our heavenly Father has used Christmas to shape and mold me. I hear the phone ringing, perhaps it is another opportunity to rehearse for Christmas.