I just could not get in the Christmas spirit this year. Neither Denny nor I were enthusiastic about decorating. That is so unusual for me. I generally am the Chevy Chase model, who embellishes every table top available. Our sons have teased me through the years that our tree was so fully dressed it might topple to the floor. So, I went through the motions and adorned the tree, mantle, bookcase, and yes, some table tops. Still, no matter how loud I played the Christmas music, I just didn't feel the season.
Since we have trimmed Christmas to simplify and make it more focused on Jesus, I had little Christmas shopping to do. I decided I would go to the mall, see the lights, look at Santa talking to the
children, and feel the bustle in the air. This would get me in the holiday spirit. Quite the contrary, as I walked to my destination, a woman approached me and asked, " Are these your natural nails?"
"Look at them." I said. "They are pealing from the oils and mineral spirits I use to paint. Do you think I would have fake nails that looked like this?"
Not even listening to my answer she took my arm and pulled me to her kiosk. She began vigorously buffing my nails. I pulled away, " That hurts. Please stop." She continued and then I said," I don't want a community file used on me. Do you hear me?" I stomped away and went to Bath and Body.
Mistake number two. You will not find the Christmas spirit there. You will find chaos. So many specials, clerks, displays only brought confusion. After standing in line, the register lady said I had not matched my items correctly. "You must buy six of the same product to get the special price."
"O.K. I will try again."
Back to the drawing board, I assembled more "needed" candles, lotions, and fragrance bulbs hoping to have assembled my purchases in the proper sales' categories. The purchase was much higher
than I anticipated, but I watched her put a ten dollar coupon in my bag.
I asked, " Can I use that coupon now?"
"No, that is for a purchase of over thirty dollars the next time you shop with us."
"Well, could you split my purchase? Ring fifty on one bill and thirty on another?"
The clerk said this could not be done. That comment brought my blood pressure up as well as my voice. I loudly announced, " Well, just take all the items back. This is a return." I am sure the ladies behind me were exasperated. It was the principle of the thing I thought. The store manager arrived on the scene. She too tried to talk me into using my coupon on another day on new specials.
Again, with no smile, no Christmas spirit, I said, " Give me back my money."
The manager said,” Let her use her coupon now." This process took the patience of Job.The clerk laboriously unrang and rang again each purchase. She messed up. Again, unwrapping each candle to scan, she did the process again. The manager reappeared and instructed her how to do this. The seething clerk rerang again. About fifteen minutes had passed. I was sweating and the ladies behind me were shooting daggers into my back and head. Finally, the girl split the bills successfully and applied the ten dollar coupon to the candles. I am sure Denny will have a lot of Christmas spirit when he is trying to match all those return, buy, and more return slips to theVisa bill.
The frustrated clerk handed me my packages and receipts and stared hard and long. The well trained manager returned to the scene and thanked me for coming to Bath and Body. Now, I wish this was the end of the story. However, the entourage of ladies behind me suddenly realized they too could insist on using their coupon if they had a large purchase. Chaos began. I left hurriedly. I walked briskly to my car and thought, "Nope, this plan didn't work too well. I not only didn't find
Christmas, I disappointed Christ." I returned home and recounted my day's journey. No Christmas spirit found yet. However, if you read my next blog, I will disclose how I found Christmas.