|The two reasons I am moving.|
Ouch, sniff, sniff, breathe, pray more, more and more. These are the windows into my emotions as I am looking for a new home in Fort Wayne, the second largest city in Indiana. There are many homes but few near the children. Most homes are two stories. I know that would be fine now, but in ten years I might regret that decision.
Who would think finding a small ranch home on which Denny and I could agree would be this difficult? He likes neat and clean. I like artsy and designed. Other than that we are doing pretty well. We don’t want a big yard, but, of course, I need a few flowers and hostas. We are looking for little maintenance and upkeep. Each chapter of life brings new changes, unsolicited problems, and decisions. I think that God designs our life path in that way , so we lean on Him more.
I am already missing my neighbor, my writing buddies, my painting teacher and our classes. I tell myself maybe God will place me where someone needs Him, and I could be that vessel He would choose to use. I have always consoled myself with the message that I am God’s and He designed me to be used by Him . That doesn’t make change any easier, just understandable.
The little girls crawled in bed with me this morning with favorite books. We read and giggled and Ava reminded me I am an artist and that is why she chose these books for my morning awakening. Ellie says, “Mimi , don’t look for a house, just bring yours from Muncie.” Ava replies, “Our yard isn’t big enough.”
Oh how simple a three year old sees life. She keeps me smiling through my adjustment tears. The window of “little girls” is small, and I want to be here for recitals, temper tantrums, giggles, and Franky Zoo walks. I want to teach them the power of the love of God and His presence each day in their lives.
I know finding a house will help me think through what furniture I can bring, how many dishes I really need, and what antiques need to be sold. The collections of forty years bring me to my knees. I look at each collection: bears, Celtic china and crystal, books, CD’s , craft supplies, oils, water colors, canvases, antiques , and friends, and realize a truth. None are hard to leave in Muncie, except my friends. I know I am an hour and fifteen minutes away, but I am realistic to know that I will be doing more babysitting and dance and soccer watching. I know I will return, but it will be different. Thank you for listening and understanding that writing is the way I process my life journey. Thank you for your advice and understanding of my mutterings. Most of all, please keep me covered in your prayers.