Adjusting to Change

The two reasons I am moving.

Ouch, sniff, sniff, breathe, pray more, more and more.  These are the windows into my emotions as I am looking for a new home in Fort Wayne, the second largest city in Indiana.  There are many homes but few near the children.  Most homes are two stories.  I know that would be fine now, but in ten years I might regret that decision.

Who would think finding a small ranch home on which Denny and I could agree would be this difficult?  He likes neat and clean.  I like artsy and designed.  Other than that we are doing pretty well.  We don’t want a big yard, but, of course, I need a few flowers and hostas.  We are looking for little maintenance and upkeep.  Each chapter of life brings new changes, unsolicited problems, and decisions.  I think that God designs our life path in that way , so we lean on Him more. 

I am already missing my neighbor, my writing buddies, my painting teacher and our classes.  I tell myself maybe God will place me where someone needs Him, and I could be that vessel He would choose to use.  I have always consoled myself with the message that I am God’s and He designed me to be used by Him .  That doesn’t make change any easier, just understandable.

The little girls crawled in bed with me this morning with favorite books.  We read and giggled and Ava reminded me I am an artist and that is why she chose these books for my morning awakening.  Ellie says, “Mimi , don’t look for a house, just bring yours from Muncie.”  Ava replies, “Our yard isn’t big enough.”

Oh how simple a three year old sees life.  She keeps me smiling through my adjustment tears.   The window of “little girls” is small, and I want to be here for recitals, temper tantrums, giggles, and Franky Zoo walks.  I want to teach them the power of the love of God and His presence each day in their lives.

I know finding a house will help me think through what furniture I can bring, how many dishes I really need, and what antiques need to be sold.  The collections of forty years bring me to my knees.  I look at each collection: bears, Celtic china and crystal, books, CD’s , craft supplies, oils, water colors, canvases, antiques , and friends, and realize a truth.  None are hard to leave in Muncie, except my friends.  I know I am an hour and fifteen minutes away, but I am realistic to know that I will be doing more babysitting and dance and soccer watching.  I know I will return, but it will be different.  Thank you for listening and understanding that writing is the way I process my life journey.  Thank you for your advice and understanding of my mutterings.  Most of all, please  keep me covered in your prayers.