Revisiting God

A new life-lesson

Today during my Bible study, the Lord showed me an old truth with a new slant.  It amazes me how I can read the same Old Testament story and gain such different insights each time.  I guess that is why it is called the living word.

Ezekial 34 is the story of Moses going to the mountaintop to receive more instructions from God.   Can you imagine spending time with God and leaving with handmade, hand fashioned God tablets with ten simple commandments?  I am sure we would call this a mountaintop experience.  Just when Moses thinks things are going well for his people, who were former slaves, freed by God, his dream is shattered.  He comes down from the mountaintop and finds they have made a golden calf and are worshipping this idol.  He is furious and drops the tablets to the ground, and they are shattered.  Moses realizes his dream will not materialize.  So, does he give up?  Does he leave these people?  Does he go into a deep depression and isolate himself?  No, even though I might have chosen one of those reactions. 

            Instead, he goes up the mountain to be with God again.  “Carve for yourself two tablets of stone like the first, and I will inscribe upon them the words that were on the first tablets.” Exodus 34:1   I realized today that the replacement tablets were a joint human-divine effort. 

I know that Moses wrote this in his life-lesson blog.  He probably wrote, “As leaders, we should set high standards for our people.  However, be prepared.  They may not reach these standards.  They may fall short, but God uses mankind and His divine intervention to pick up those broken pieces and recreate their lives. ”

God gave them a second chance by allowing Moses to carve the tablets and then add God’s holy signature and words.  How many times have I dropped the tablets and a relationship was shattered, a job not completed, a friend not given all the time he deserved?  How many times have I too had a dream that rotted in the sun?  How many times have I blamed someone else, isolated myself, or called on a friend to hear my tale of woe, instead of revisiting God?  Have I allowed Him to take my shattered dream, hopes, or expectations and recreate them with His divine knowledge? This epiphany and awareness was a profound realization this day.  I wanted to share it in my life lesson blog just like Moses. 

Faith in Him, not Me

,f 

What Is In Your Hand?

While reading in Exodus this morning, I was reminded of how Moses tried everything not to be God’s messenger to the Egyptians. Moses pointed out his age, his poor command of the language,and his inabilities. God knew his heart. God knew Moses had a heart of wax that could be molded by the Spirit of God. God trusted that Moses would eventually listen to God's call. To further persuade Moses, God asked, "What's in your hand?"

For some reason, Moses' first reaction gives me comfort. I too have many times told the Lord I am not equipped to be His messenger. I too have inwardly been asked, “ What is in you hand?”

It is a sobering question to answer before the Lord. He has made me and given me my gifts, my inclinations, my heart for Him. I must be honest before Him because He knows me. He knows me so much better than I know myself.

I thought I could not manage or live through Alzheimer’s with my mother. God showed me that in my hand was optimism. I could be by her side and cheer her with my presence. I could offer her art opportunities , so she could still be involved in color. Recently, I found one of the notebooks where we had drawn butterflies, flowers, and spring blossoms. Because of her foggy mind, Mamma’s pictures were distorted, but her colors were loud and strong. I would applaud her efforts and command of color. She would smile sweetly . This brought me such joy. God knew what was in my hand.

Another time God asked me to go to Kazakhstan. At first , I was so reluctant. I drug my feet. My excuses were: I don’t know the language, it is too far away, I was taught fear of Russia as a child, I am not ready, and I did not have that much money. I sounded a bit like Moses. My lack of confidence was in me. I wasn’t giving credence to my God and His power, His words, and His favor. It took me a couple of years to trust Him totally. Finally, I listened and said, “ I am weak but You are strong. Let’s go together.”

I should have responded that way immediately. Gratefully, He knew my heart. He knew I had to prepare my spirit to rely on Him , not me. He knew what was in my hand . He knew I could be used to touch the educator’s hearts and minds in Kazakhstan. My visits there have given me growth, insights into their culture, and best friends. God knew what I needed to develop me and help them. He knew the gifts He had given me and only asked me to use them, and He would do the speaking, the demonstrations, and guide my teachings. Again, leaning on Him , following His urging brought me such joy and understanding of His power, His presence, and His love.

These difficult times have developed my faith, my trust , and love of God. I pray today that my heart is waxen, not hard like Pharaoh’s . May this week bring us all a week of listening and learning. May we answer willingly and come to realize what is in our hand.