Today , I am waiting for my grand babies to arrive. Now, they only live one hour away, but I always am so eager to see their smiles, feel their hugs, and kiss those chubby cheeks of Ellis. As I wait, I think of all the time in our lives we spend waiting. None of us find it relaxing or stimulating. We are not designed to wait , but it is a part of our daily lives.
Sometimes, we are waiting on a spouse. This can bring up anxious moments when we are wondering, "Is he OK? Has he been in a wreck? Where is he?" This is probably the only time the fellow gets an open the door greeting. He is kissed and welcomed. Another waiting scenario might bring him a very different greeting. If the dinner is cold or the company has arrived, a greeting might be in my mean voice through gritted teeth, "Thanks a lot for calling. " This may be the only words he hears from me all night.
Then, there is the nine months of waiting for the creation inside of me to make entry into the world. This waiting is filled with anticipation. Will the baby be a boy or a girl? Will he be healthy? Will he look like dad's side or mine? Will he be bright and clever? Will I be able to handle all those night feedings? Will I be a good mom? Can I afford to send him to school in eighteen years? It really takes nine months to ponder and decide on little munchkin's being. Meanwhile, I can feel life within. This makes waiting easier because I know someone is in their kicking and developing into the child of my dreams.
When I sit with a dying family member, I realize a long and labored wait. It is the most difficult kind of waiting because the loved one is leaving. I don't want them to leave, but I don't want them to linger and suffer . This waiting is so difficult because I am unsure of how long the process of stepping over to another life will take. Will dying take nine months ? It takes nine months for a life to incubate and grow into a breathing person. Will dying be a little less life day by day or will death come suddenly and catch me unaware?
Today's meditations on waiting remind me that there are lessons learned in waiting , but many times there is suffering too. As my sweet grand daughter Ava says, " That's just the way it is Mimi; that's just the way it is."